Separation and Surrender

When we are in separation, and you are not the one who has chosen this, it is very easy to get sucked into the mentality that this is all your twin's fault. The pain you are feeling can be solely placed at the foot of your other half. We focus on - "Why are they doing this to me? Why can't they see what I see?"

It's a very natural to think if only when you are the one waiting, but separation is very rarely about only one person. Yes, maybe you think you'd be more than willing to be with your twin, but until you have been with your twin, experienced the intensity and had them not run, you don't know if you too have a breaking point, if you as well have areas that need to be cleared that would prevent you from being whole with the other half of your soul. All you currently know now, is that your other half reached their breaking point before you, not that you don't have one.

In truth, we all have areas that we are not living our truth in and the path to home with our twins, to reunion with the other half of us, lies in authenticity and utter surrender.

Sometimes, the ONLY path to reunion is through separation. We have to learn to let go so we can focus on the things WE need to refine, change, rebirth. Too often we only focus on our twin and what he/she is doing or not doing.

I was not the one who left my twin, but while
we were together, he used to say all the time, "You've got one foot out of this relationship how am I supposed to trust you'll stay?"

I used to suffer from serious abandonment issues, everyone leaves, so why wouldn't he?

Self fulfilling prophecy? Perhaps. I have since done much work on my own issues where relationships and abandonment are concerned. My ongoing quest to find romantic love is journaled here if you want to follow along, but the gist is I learned to pay attention to my inner monologue and what my beliefs were about abandonment and where they came from... then I changed every one of them.

One of the hardest lessons you will ever learn, is that of surrender. Once I got this, everything in my life changed. I see how little control I have over anything, and yet how much control I have over everything.

You can learn how I finally learned this key component of my life in this article entitled True Surrender.

In a bit or irony, when I was dealing with the worst of my Twin Flame drama I was also coming up with a new line of erotic romances that I was writing solely from the hero's point of view. Shorter stories, more sex, less romance, but I didn't want to lose the heart. In some ways I was writing them for men who'd written me over the years and they are so different from my other work that a pen name seemed necessary, not to hide that I was the writer, but simply so fans of my work wouldn't get confused.

I prayed over the right pen name and came up with several options, but it was in meditation one day when I was struggling so badly with Tony's hard-headedness and inability to just be with me that my guides said you need to extend him Grace, he's struggling too.

I never wanted to forget that, so the new pen name Grace Anthony was born and every time I do business with that name, I send a prayer of grace to the man I will always love to the depth of my soul even if we can never be together again.

I think too often we get sucked into our own pain and forget there is as much pain on the other side, maybe even more as they are the ones fighting their awakening. I'm not saying make excuses and never let anyone treat you without dignity and respect, no matter who they are, but do remember, your twins are not perfection come to life, they are flesh and blood, injured, broken and struggling same as you.

The journey to reunion is not a journey for one. Both partners have soul work to do. Looking inward and upward is the fastest road to peace and reunion. I pray peace to you all as you travel this road for I know it well and it is not one for the weak. Be well and BE love. ~ Samantha