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Update Feb 2021:
Find my writings now at SamanthaLife.com
Namaste and many blessings.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Self Love is Not Selfish

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.  Matthew 26: 37 - 40
It seems to me that in this life we are constantly faced with two choices, will you follow your head, or will you follow your soul.
Before I go one word further, I would remind you that if my words resonate, than accept them, if they do not, release them. I do not wish to tell you how you should live, I just see many people caught in an endless cycle that I broke free off five years ago and if my words can help even one other person break free, then how can I not share them?
We are conditioned in this life from the time we are quite small, especially if we have loving or fearful parents. We are taught what to eat and not. We are taught not to be selfish, but to share, and be kind. We are taught to be responsible. We are taught we must grow up and do our part in life. That usually means get a job, a spouse, and have children.
Even today with all the options available us, the underlying message we all receive is, to be happy, you get a job, get a house, get married, and settle down.
We are very rarely encouraged to honor our souls and so, we get the job, and the house, and the spouse, and the kids and we think... something is still missing.
We are taught to use our heads as opposed to our imagination, or that we should listen to the deeper parts of ourselves, to our connection to the divine. Most of us fear that connection to some degree. We feel we cannot trust
it because it isn't tangible. When in truth, it's the most important thing to trust.
I grew up Christian and to this day I love my Bible. There is such richness in that book, the Law of Attraction, the purity of life, the beauty and the truest things are all in there. It just astounds me how it's been taken and turned into a book of shackles for so many that people fear it, hate it, miss out on the wisdom of it.
I posted a verse at the top of this writing because in Christianity that verse is held out as the preeminent verse to follow and know you're doing right. Only, in my experience (and I'll admit it's been close to a decade since I stepped foot in a church) they focus on how you are to love god completely, and how you are to love your neighbor, because this would solve all the worlds problems.
The "As you love yourself" portion of this verse is widely skipped right over as if we all have some innate understanding of what this looks like, so therefore we don't need to discuss it.
Quite frankly I think we are loving our neighbor as we love ourselves these days and that's causing a whole hell of a lot of problems as too few of us actually even like ourselves, let alone love ourselves. We act out against others from the fear, distrust and anger, all emotions festering within ourselves because we don't know what love is. Because our life isn't satisfying the deepest call of our soul.
What even does it even mean to love yourself?
What is this elusive self love that we all talk about so much? We get into groups of "spiritual" people and say, practice self love. We talk about the rose quartz we bought and the long soaks in the tub we indulge in and think we're doing pretty good. Today I'm here to challenge you, and myself, on this concept. Because I think that true self love is nothing more or less than true self acceptance. 
It's not long baths, weekend retreats, and Milano cookies.
It's how much are you living your most true life?
If we did this, lived in our truth, totally accepting whatever that truth is, no compromising or twisting it to please others, and let others do the same, that would be how we solve the world's problems. And do you know why?
Because we would no longer be living closed off in fear. We would not begrudge someone else's life choices, when we loved our own. We would radiate with love and when human beings come together to solve something, and they are whole, healthy, happy human beings... we can make miracles happen.
We are all under attack right now. Just listen to the news, right? The thing is though, that the attack is coming from inside the house. ;-) We feel it, and we find a way to pin it on our parents, our co-workers, another race, or country, rather than go inside and find the truth there.
Take your baths, buy yourself nice things when you can, but if you aren't living your absolute truth, the way your soul screams out for you to do... then you aren't in self love. You are in self denial and some degree of self loathing.
That is no way to live your life. In this state you aren't going to be able to achieve your dreams, you aren't going to be able to love your spouse, guide your children, be a beacon for others to follow... you will be living most days drained and self medicating, maybe with food, with work, with exercise, TV... whatever it is, if you are numbing your senses with any substance or activity, then something is askew internally.
I've heard people say dreamers never get anything done. I've heard it said if we all follow our dreams, we'd all be cowboys and the world would fall apart. That's nonsense. Dreamers get a bad wrap because the system we've built tears them down, and then we blame them for being "flaky". And our childhood dreams are much bigger than being a cowboy.
There are dreams of the mind, dreams of the heart, and dreams of the soul.
It's that last category that I'm talking about here. Those dreams that were planted within you as a message from the other side, a treasure map to show you what direction to go in once you got here.
The problem here is that most of us never realize this, never wake up to this reality, because we are programmed not to find it. For me, it was the absolute implosion of my life, followed by my twin flame experience that woke me up and believe me, once you see it, feel it, you don't walk away from it.
I watched a movie once, many years ago, Pleasantville. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. It is the story of a teenage boy who is obsessed with an old black and white television show called Pleasantville. A town from the fifties where everything seems perfect. Well he and his sister get magically drawn into the world only to find out it's not as perfect as it seems because nothing is real
The boy, just by being who he is, starts to wake people up and as they awaken, they turn to color, the town starts turning to color. That sends fear through the black and white people and a division forms between those awake and those still asleep. In that fear they do some pretty despicable things.
This is what we are experiencing every day in this world. Too much fear. Too many ideas of what's right and what's wrong, instead of just going inside, finding our own truth, our own color, and loving ourselves enough to live it. People rarely do this because to truly do this, means change and possibly even loss and we fear that more than we hate the low level, or even high level, of discomfort we feel in denying our truth.
Maybe it means disrupting your family.
Maybe it means quitting your job.
Maybe it means a move, or a change of religion... for me I went through all of that.
Where I stand today in 2016 is so completely alien from where I was five years ago. In the past five years I've lost relationships, I moved to Orlando, I stopped writing the erotic romances that were a pretty sure thing for me, into the true desire of my heart with Elethiya. I've lost a lot, but I've gained so much more just in the sheer sense of joy and satisfaction I have knowing that I am doing exactly what god intended for me when he created me. 
Or to put it another way, exactly what I intended for myself when I programmed this life.
It doesn't matter your religious or spiritual beliefs about what this life is, we all believe there is some point or purpose to it. I believe you find that through the dreams you've had all your life, but you can only find and follow those dreams if you find and follow your own authenticity. There is no compromise on this. You will be challenged, you will be stripped of every unnecessary thing. People you love will not be able to support you, or even understand you. You will fight it. You will be afraid of it. You will kick, scream, and bite at times... but in my experience, and belief at this point, you will never find what you are looking for, if you don't allow "god" to initiate this transformation process, stay in it, learn true surrender to that which is greater than you, and become who you are truly meant to be, not a compromised version of that which you've decided you can live with.
This is go big or go home and if you aren't able to be in it 100%, then you're better to find a different life strategy because in my experience, the divine only honors the act of - Love the lord your god with all your heart, soul, and mind. Do this and you will find the treasure you are seeking.
If I could give you one encouragement as you stand on that precipice trying to decide... In my experience, you can run forever from this truth, but this life is finite. So ask yourself what kind of life are you truly wanting to live? One that you get through, or one that you love? One that makes a difference? One that leaves it's mark on the people around you? And it's like ripples in a pond, your impact spreads out and begins to touch everything you do. I got email last week from someone, just as heartfelt as the twin flame mail I used to get, only she was thanking me for my Disney World pictures. Telling me how they comforted her in a time of grief.
That doesn't happen when you aren't living your truth. It's magical and mystical, but there are rules in the spiritual the same as there are rules in the natural, the question is, which rules will you follow? Because in my experience, you can't follow both.
If you are scared, it's entirely understandable. I've been terrified more times than I can count, right up to and including that last shift there in November when I put writing first. What I will tell you is that I have lived the past five years of my life all in, honoring that which I know as god with all my heart, soul and mind... not perfectly, not like a robot, but as a human being, scared at times, selfish, rebellious, but he has not once dropped me on my ass in all that time.
I trust my understanding of god, I trust my life, and I love myself finally. I think that's why I'm feeling challenged to start writing these types of posts, it's time to love you all in that same way, and close the loop on that verse. I pray that is how this is read, as love. Not judgment, not anger, not condescension, just plainly, simply, as love.
Wherever you are in this life, remember this - TRUST that which you know as god. He is faithful beyond words, and has unfathomable depths of goodness. Namaste - Samantha

Follow my truth journey at www.samanthalucas.net or subscribe to the behind the scenes version at www.patreon.com/SamanthaLucas

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