You are not crazy and you are not alone ~

My twin flame journey hit a new high point this week where I now feel love without pain for my twin. It is a pure, potent energy that has filled my soul like a flood. I wasn't expecting it, I couldn't have imagined it, and it happened in an instant like a damn burst and all of a sudden... everything was okay again, everything was beautiful and as it should be.

Yes, I am still in separation with my twin and my guides say that will last a couple more years, but I can look at his picture now and not feel sick, I can send him my love and my energy from the highest, purest vibration. I don't need him anymore, because I have him now.

This is a very real phenomena. Whatever you are going through, it is real and unless someone has been through it, they will not understand it and so sadly, that often leaves us very isolated. I write this blog, along with my others, for the very purpose of walking with you through this. I am in a high place these days and its beautiful there, but I have never forgotten the low valleys of this journey.

There were moments during this that I was literally curled in a ball on my bed, writhing in pain. I'd never felt anything like it.

This is physical, this is spiritual, this is emotional. You are not crazy.

I had no idea what was going on and no, my twin never
felt pain like I did, but then I wasn't the one falling in love with someone else and making him watch. He wasn't the one left alone at night knowing I was in someone else's bed. I was the one with that distinct pleasure and in the end, though our split was instigated by him, I was so ready for it. I prayed every day for probably three months after that god wouldn't let him contact me because I knew I wasn't strong enough to tell him no and I needed to be left alone.

No one has the right to hurt you, dismiss you, or treat you with anything less than respect and dignity. Just because they are your twin, does not give them an exception to this. You are a beautiful soul and your twin situation will work itself out, it is okay for you to be the one to leave, the one to say "You need to go, you're hurting me."

It may feel like the end of the world in that moment, but a true twin flame is not extinguished and even in separation there is connection, there are lessons learned, transformation that occurs.

This is your path to walk and the twin flame is something that is bigger than any of us and it will do what it wants. We are a bit at its mercy, but we do have power and we absolutely must gain the ability to be our own advocates.

I believe there is a change in the planet's energy needed before things for the twin flames will ease up. In the meantime, we are left in turmoil and agony and all we can do is learn to deal with it and to keep going.

Yes, I know you want them back if they've left.

Yes, I know you want them to love you the way you love them.

Be patient dear kindred twins, I believe in my soul that this will happen, we are merely waiting for that shift and take heart because you are far from alone. I have literally talked with hundreds of people in the last year, all in some sort of pain and separation from the person they believe to be their twin.

I've known I was destined to be a voice in the twin flame world for many months now, but I haven't been ready. I wasn't wanting to pick open my own wounds every day, but with that flood of love that washed in last week, I'm realizing it's a love so big, it cannot be contained to just my twin, it is for all of you who are in this with me. All of you who feel lost, afraid, alone and I will be here for you.

I am not like most out there because while, yes, I believe this to be a spiritual journey, I believe it is one played out on the earthly realms with our humanity in tact. I believe we have to deal with the very real life part of this and I believe that is part of what is causing the pain and the confusion. We are very human beings experiencing a soul we only have truly known in the spiritual realms. it is confusing, they are our other halves, yet they act in ways that don't make sense, it scares us, it scares them. We push and pull and wrestle and run, but this is not a dance that must be played out together, there is always healing, always lessons.

At the end of the day there is one key element... surrender.

This journey takes on a life of its own and you cannot control it... all we can do is trust it, love them and have faith in something bigger than us directing the movement.

This is never going to be an easy journey, but it is one with great beauty and a wealth of gifts to bestow on you.

Below is an excerpt from  book I wrote to help any of you in turmoil with your twin journey. You can read more and get all the information at my website www.twinflamesanctuary.com or by clicking the link below.

I wrote this book out of the deepest love, not just for my twin, but for all of you. There is pain and I had to answer to that. This book is a salve, it's a life jacket, it's something that will allow you to come up for air and I pray for all who read it, it gives you a moments of sweet, pure peace. Namaste, peace and blessings to all ~ Samantha

An Excerpt from Sanctuary ~

I hear often from people that they fear their twin leaving them. I hear the pain in their words as they are in separation. I hear desperation, confusion, loss… what I rarely here is trust, faith, and that, my dear kindred twins, is where we need to get to, faith in the journey and trust in yourself.

In the darkest hours of my twin flame journey, I was more alone than I had ever felt in my life and that terrified me. I remember some nights lying in bed, not able to move for physical pain that was wracking my body head to toe, because I could feel him with this other woman.

That kind of pain messes with your head, I won’t sugar coat it, but at some point I started to gain some strength. I moved closer to faith because I knew there was no way on earth I’d be able to handle this on my own and slowly I learned some very powerful lessons, the least of which was trust… not in him, but in myself.

Experiences change us, define us, and oftentimes, lie to us about who we are. For a very long time, I felt like a victim to my twin. I felt like I had no power. He was my twin, the other half of my soul. I knew it, what options did that leave me, but to wait? To sit through his other relationship and have faith one day he would return to me.

I will tell you now, I believe that to be the biggest mistake I made throughout my twin flame journey.

When we believe the lies, like being helpless within our twin flame experience, we embrace them and those lies become the base for how we live. When this happens to you, your life is weakened, your building on a façade that won’t withstand the storms and you are never further from true reunion, in my opinion.

One of the things that seems to be sticking so many of us, is we have a skewed view of trust.

Have you ever said, “I have trust issues”?

They pop up as abandonment issues, fear of commitment, fear of being hurt, but it all boils down to “I don’t trust you”.

When we don’t feel safe with someone, we put up walls to protect ourselves. It’s very hard to put up any real walls with your twin so you are left feeling intense, forced vulnerability. Add to that all the information out there seems to be saying this is the one person on the planet you should be able to trust and they are acting in a way that screams, “No you can’t!”

Do not give your twin a free pass solely because they are your twin.

I am the first one to jump up and start screaming, this is spiritual stop looking at it from such an earthly perspective, but in truth, we are human and there does need to be some form of balance between the spiritual and the reality that you’re dealing with.

My twin has severe abandonment issues and he used to tell me all the time, he didn’t feel safe with me, but that he did feel safe with the girlfriend who had betrayed him several times. That never made sense to me.

As the truth of the twin flame became clearer to me, I understood why he didn’t feel safe. It had nothing to do with me, it had to do with his deeper knowing of what was about to happen to his life if he chose to embrace his twin.

This is a complex experience with many layers and two people who have a lot of personal baggage, because while he was saying, “I don’t trust you” I wanted to be his safe place. I knew in my soul he was supposed to be mine even if he never acted like it. In fact he told me on numerous occasions that if push ever came to shove and he had to hurt me or her, it would be me because he knew I could handle it and she couldn’t. That doesn’t make him safe for me, does it?

We have to be realistic.

We have to hear what our twins are telling us, either with their words or actions, and be honest about what that means for our relationships, but here’s the game changer…

You don’t have to be able to trust them.

You have to be able to trust yourself.

The last year of our relationship, I wasn’t interested in him as a man I wanted to live my life with so much anymore. After all, he’d hurt and betrayed me, but I still loved him and he was still my twin, so I wasn’t about to abandon him. What I learned in that time was that I didn’t have to trust him to be in the relationship. He was going to hurt me, that was something I knew. I couldn’t trust him in a traditional sense. Now the common idea is that when you can’t trust someone, you can’t be in a relationship with them and there is good reason for that and I am not advocating staying in any relationship where your health and safety, physical or emotional, is in jeopardy. In my case however, what I realized was, really, who can you trust?

We all have pain, we all have baggage. I’ll guarantee you if you’re in life even a little but, you’re going to get hurt. You can’t go around, walls to your eyeballs, spending all your energy protecting yourself. That isn’t practical and it isn’t healthy.

What you do is hone the skill of being your own warrior and white knight. You learn that you are capable of handling bad things, hurtful things, in a rational manner without inflicting more damage on the people around you. You learn that you can take your pain and your brokenness to your god and leave it there. You learn that you have remarkable strength that is supernatural that provides you extreme comeback abilities.

You don’t have to trust the other person.

You have to trust yourself.

I always call the path of self-awareness the “hard path” because it’s hard to really look at yourself, your flaws, your wounds, your history, with honesty. It’s even harder to take those wounds and allow them to be cleaned out and healed, but in truth, there’s no other path I’d ever want to be on. I know from my own experience, that the pay-off is always worth the pain. Even in my twin situation now. I know someday I will be with my twin again, what that reunion will look like, I have no clue, but what I do know, is I’ve learned to look out for myself. I know where I will not allow him to take advantage of me or hurt me. I know that I can show him love, whether that’s in friendship, as lovers, or even if the separation has to continue.

October 2103, when I last spoke to my twin, and all of that November, I thought I might die from the pain. I wondered how I would ever want to live again. I wondered what difference god made, light made, truth made… I toyed with giving up on everything I believed… but I got through all of that, stronger, wiser, more enlightened and most importantly, I earned my own trust.

I am a smart, caring, creature of love and light and truth. I seek out that truth every day, every way I know how. What I’ve learned about myself is that I can handle my life. I can handle my finances, my weight, my career, my relationships. I can be my own advocate, my own protector, and that’s not a sad thing! That’s not the back-up plan. That’s the right thing, the best thing.

So now I have to ask, do you trust yourself? 

Don’t give me a knee jerk, “yes”. Think about it. Really think about it. And I don’t just mean with your twin. As I keep saying, this book, what I do, it’s about the whole of your life. Do you trust yourself with money? Do you trust yourself with the opposite sex? Do you trust yourself as a parent? Do you trust yourself with time? 

This is important and hard to face and it may take a little time to find and deal with issues like these, but I absolutely guarantee you that when you do, you will see a rebirth in your life. You will feel a new energy that allows you to reach higher and soar further and it will be a salve to much of the pain in your twin situation if you are living with the fear of them leaving you, or if you are fearing their returning.

You don’t have to trust your twin.

You have to trust yourself.

Trust in oneself should be a basic layer of everyone’s life, but so many of us have been taught not to trust ourselves, to override our instincts, our dreams. I’m encouraging you today to find out if that’s you and if it is… it’s a new day. I do understand how scary it can be to look into the closets of our minds and dig through all the junk within, but I also know that you have the strength and courage to do so. You are a twin flame and you are unstoppable!