Things are changing though, I see it in every current of my life and I am coming into the promises of the god I know and love who made them to me four years ago.
What I know for sure, through a LOT of trial and error and trying to do it my own way, is that when I walk in faith, in accordance with my guides' leading, no matter what it is, it does come to be.
This is true in my romantic life, with my twin flame, my writing and this month I'm seeing something very specific come to fruition that is reminding me just how simple it all really is. We don't have to try, to do, to push, to achieve, we simply need be and that which is meant for us, does come to us.
We simply have to master our own patience and surrender first.
This lesson is coming home to me yet again this week as I move into a final phase of transition between the life I left and the one I am building.
Three years ago I
up and moved to Florida on two weeks notice with nothing but a suitcase and a few hundred dollars. This was a leap of faith to end all, but my guides told me go, go now. I did and within a few weeks of arriving here, I met my twin flame. If I'd arrived any later, that meeting would not have occurred. Perfect timing is always at play and we must learn to trust it.
One of the things I have not been able to do so far is establish Florida residency because one of my legal documents proving my name got lost in the move and quite frankly, I'd spent almost all of the first two years I was here, simply trying to keep my head above water, establish a solid financial base through my writing, deal with the twin flame experience and help my kids transition to a new life as adults with social and medical issues.
It's been a lot.
However, a huge part of this dream for me in coming here, was to be home again at a Disney theme park. Disney World is a spiritual center for me. As much as so as for those of you who feel drawn to the Holy Land or a cathedral. Disney has always been my church, a place where I hear god and find my center. Since I've been in Florida, nearly three years now, I have come to spend much time out there and love every minute of it, it's been an incredible adventure, but I have yet to be inside any of the parks because I haven't been able to prove residency and I just won't pay full price. ;-)
Well it was late last year, October probably when my guides started pushing me about this, saying it was time, and that I'd have my pass for next year's garden show at Epcot, something I've had some heartache missing each of the other years I've been here.
I made some feeble attempts to get that paperwork I needed, but there were many emotional obstacles for me as well as I'm one of those people who just nearly has a panic attack anytime I have to go to the DMV. I've rested in my faith on this since I got here that in the right timing, this would all come together and I wouldn't have to worry, push or make it happen. Law of attraction in action right there.
The Flower and Garden show starts today and goes until mid-May, and in the past week, my ex-husband, out of the blue, emails me and says, Hey I was at the courthouse (in VA) and thought I'd get you a copy of your name change paperwork while I was here. He even thought to have it notarized for out of state use. That arrived in the mail to me on Monday. This is in NO way, "normal" behavior for my ex-husband.
Next hurdle, I live in one of those pay by the month studios with no lease and utilities are included. The DMV wants TWO proof of address documents. Well I have my W2s and if they'll take a print out copy of my bank statement, then those should work, but I was still concerned not having a utility bill or lease to show them. Then another friend messages me last night and says her church can write me a letter of residency for the DMV, they apparently do it all the time. Hurdle 2 cleared.
Hurdle three, is my own anxiety about the DMV. Finding it, getting there, and then dealing with the mechanics of getting this ID card... I already can't breathe just thinking about it.
Well first, I don't beat myself up over stuff like that anymore, it is what it is and I am treating myself with love, kindness and understanding. Then as it turns out, one of my best friends in all the world, will be in town the end of this month and has gladly agreed to go with me for moral support.
Yes I could have asked someone else, but there's no one here in Florida I'm this close to, someone who I don't have to "act brave" for if you know what I mean. For a couple of hours, I can be neurotic and nervous and I know she'll have my back. This is in many ways the largest hurdle and to have it taken care of like this... Was not even something I wished for, I never saw this as a possibility.
By the end of this month I will have taken care of the thing that scared me the most from the time I chose to move AND I'll have my Disney annual pass with a whole new world of opportunities and experiences open to me at last.
This experience for me is a total reminder of how good god is and how great spirit. When he says something will be... IT WILL BE.
It's true with state ID cards and it's true with twin flames and it's true with everything inbetween.
Surrender, faith and walking our paths, even when they don't seem to be going in the direction that makes sense to us, is key to this life, to finding and fulfilling your purpose, and to your own sense of peace and satisfaction in the day to day of things.
Going to the Epcot Flower and Garden show has been a dream of mine for probably more than ten years. I have planned numerous trips that always fell through and even when I moved here, I wasn't able to go at first. All things in god's timing come together for his purposes exactly when and how they should and we truly don't have to "do" anything but walk our paths and do our best.
Be at peace and surrender your own sense of timing, your ego and your need to control and you'll see miracles happen.
It's a truly beautiful thing.
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