Twin Flames: Beyond the Label

Whatever has brought you here, what I know for sure, is that you have experienced a person in this lifetime that has brought you to your knees and is forcing you to face things in yourself that are excruciating.

You're also in love, most likely, there's conflict, there's an intensity that can be hard to bear.You're experiencing spiritual awakening, maybe even telepathy and dreams... why does this need a label?

The problem I personally see with the "twin flame" label is twofold.

1. There is no possible way to determine if you are a twin fame or if the person you are dealing with is this mythical "other half". You can't get a blood test done, or answer a survey and come up with an irrefutable answer.
2. The second you start thinking someone is, or is not, your twin flame, your behavior changes. You are either trying to shove the relationship into, or out of, that box. When we meet them, we want them to be the twin flame. We want to be able to check off all the "signs" and have that magical relationship. When we are on the other side, we want them to be a "false" twin or "dark" twin... again all more labels that, in my opinion, keep you from following a true path.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if a person is your twin flame or not if the relationship is effecting you. Be in the moment of it. Twin flames is not a reason to put up with behavior you otherwise wouldn't. It's also not an excuse to treat someone badly. Another two trends I see dangerous with this labeling. 

Too many are using the idea that this person may be their twin flame to justify staying in an unhealthy relationship. Also to justify bad behavior. Truth is, it doesn't matter if it's your twin flame or not, being safe, being healthy, that comes first! And what I've seen repeatedly is when we stand by our twin flames faithfully, putting up with all their behavior, fears, running, we have become enablers under the guise of unconditional love.

That's a false love.

Unconditional love doesn't allow the other person to stay in their lower energy. Unconditional love doesn't condone behaviors out of fear. Unconditional love embraces and says, you need to be better than this. I'm here for you, but I'm not accepting these actions.

Unconditional love walks away, but keeps their heart open, bears no ill will, isn't "fed up", simply knows the most loving thing to do right now, is to let this person walk their path, have their experiences, and let them do it their way.

Twin Flames as a label is starting to simply be another word for co-dependent and I want you to seriously consider that. Again, no matter who or what this other person is, I guarantee you it is not your destiny to become co-dependent with them.

We are striving to rise to our highest selves, our highest good. Co-dependence, abuse, enabling, these things will all keep us trapped in a lower energy, stealing from us the very thing our soul is reaching for.

One of the things I am noticing right now is that too many of the Twin Flame groups and sites are becoming elitist. They act as if the twin flame is something better than, which I won't buy into. Any soul bonded relationship has purpose and worth and beauty. There is no scale of which is better. So for those of you wanting into this elite circle, don't work so hard for it. Being a twin flame is painful, and life changing, and never what it seems, but it isn't the be all end all.

A true soul mate can bring just as much love and light into your life and who's to say the twin flame isn't some karmic curse on those of us too bull headed to learn these lessons in other lives!? 

When I work with people, they usually come into my life at their lowest moments. My intention is not to label you, not to tell you this is the path your relationship should take, but to deal with the very real experience your'e having. You need to be able to think and breathe and oftentimes with this journey, you can't do either.

Then we get so wrapped up in, "Is this a twin flame?" That we limit our experiences and our journey. We spend countless hours waffling. This is my twin. This isn't my twin. And in the meantime, you're driving yourself crazy.

The point to this is to simply be in it.

Love, be healthy, stay safe, but just be in it.

Don't worry about the outcome, don't worry about the label, enjoy the rush of all that's happening. Do the work to heal what needs healing, stay true to yourself above all else, and trust that someone, somewhere, has a plan for what's happening to you and where you'll end up.

I promise you that no matter where it is, you'll be better off for the journey. Much love and blessings, be true to yourself, you know the way home.